more about listening to design critique
I had a classic case of taking the wrong critique too far today. I made something simpler than ‘simpler’ meant. It has been fascinating in a very ‘not really that fascinating way’ to watch the countenance of those around me and to determine what mode individuals are in (eg. Goofy: want to be your friend –or– Serious: trying to communicate something more than seems possible in words about what a design project needs in order to work magic)
How much of it is culture? How much of it is ‘design culture?’ How much of it is personality, and how best can one react? I suppose everybody goes through stuff like this in learning to work with people professionally or other wise.
I’ve also noticed dispositions nationally – British, Dutch, otherwise. It’s been very interesting in a very-
new freedom from ‘American Dream’ expectation
For a while there I’d really been down over the fact that I’m way over here and everything I’ve known and would probably like to continue being a part of is over there, specifically in regard to women. There is an allure to settling down and letting life be enough, and in the face of as much I find myself pressing out the potential of what it means to be young and unattached. Not that I’ve got some kind of playboy life or anything, but I am on the far side of the Atlantic tied-loose.
At any rate there has been a great deal more peace in the last week or so, having much to do with trusting God he is working everything out. I see this truth in bus arrival times, bureaucratic processes, and my time. As much as I may want to get buttoned down and start putting in my 40 years somewhere doing something – I’ve got to believe all that will happen in good time.
Really that’s the fourth thing I’ve been learning, to trust God is working things out better than I can understand. Most of the time I don’t get it. All the sunday school / Jesus / church answers are true, but they usually don’t go all the way to the center of what I’m feeling- until I can really feel god in them.
Looking back on my life so far I must say I am very pleased. There have been a few unsolved ‘tragedies’ if you can even call them that, but I feel like I’ve been around long enough that I’m beginning to see that stuff works out, and it’s not that I’m painting everything in rosy colors when it’s not. The Truth of the thing is that the bleakness that is the alternative is only just a skin – a miss interpretation of what is going on.
Now I feel like I’m preaching, but it really is working for me. Hang in there a bit, and things start rolling your way. I’ve been doing it with Jesus. So, I couldn’t tell you if it works without. Some of my church friends would like me to club everybody with the fact that is takes Jesus (and I believe it does).
Without him you are a second short – a dollar shy. You can cut corners, and that works most of the time. Eventually though it catches up to you, and in the mean time something is still missing.
Really, if you asked yourself if you were happy, what would you say? In the ways I catch myself not being, I have gotten in the habit and, know that the things I feel like God wants for me are the things that bring me back into a huge amount of happiness (it usually feels like contentment). AND the things God wants for me aren’t religious duties their things like getting my sleep, playing square, and acting in care (love) for whomever happens to be around (I love winking and smiling at little kids for example. What’s that about?).
The sweets thing is that ‘Christianity’ isn’t even about being happy, but it happens.
All right, you’ve impressed me if you’ve read this far, and if you actually do get this far post your reaction. I’ll laugh if there are no posts, and I’m sure I’ll laugh if there are, and somebody has survived the reading.
Now I think God wants me to get some sleep. How’s that for insight. ;-) It’s also time management, the last thing I’ve been learning more about over here.
Oh, and my eurorail pass isn’t arriving until next week so I’m going to Utrecht, 40 minutes away, for a Vineyard conference instead.